


The Agreement

by BabylonSabby



Category: Homestuck
Genre: How I envisioned they became canon., M/M, davekat - Freeform, sfw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-25
Updated: 2016-03-25
Packaged: 2018-05-28 21:49:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6346675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BabylonSabby/pseuds/BabylonSabby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dave and Karkat can't...quadrant. So when they discover they're attracted to each other, they have a nice, friendly discussion about what the frick to do about it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Agreement

You’re ‘asleep’ on Karkat’s shoulder. Or you’re actually watching the fucking movie. It doesn’t really matter, cause’ your eyes are shielded and as far as the movie goes, you can frankly care less. The ‘relationship’ you’ve developed thus far amounts mostly to simply…you leaning on him while he watches chick flicks. Karkat gets in his movie time. You get in your physical intimacy time. It’s a win-win. Especially if Kar feels just as good about snuggle time as you do.

Oh, God, that’s a terrifying thought.

What if this whole time you weren’t on the same page and he thought this was some kind of platonic…thingymado? No. No. Those are not the signals you’re supposed to be showing him. But…at the same time…you’re kind of in the closet, anyway? Goddamnit, is this hard. Romancing trolls is hard. If it were a human being, you’d have no problem. Cause’ odds are a human male would be like, “WHAT THE FUCK?!” But nah. Not Karkat. Karkat just sits there mindin’ his own business. Grossly invested in learning about human culture via trashy human films. It doesn’t help that most of them are ones you suggested. And they’re meme related. Cause’ you’re a meme loving fuck.

“So…Not that I don’t enjoy our little snuggle sessions on this couch or anything, but…what’s the deal, Dave? What kind of signals are you trying to send to me here? Cause’ I’ve watched all these movies you’ve recommended…and I’m pretty sure it’s not common for typically heterosexual males of your species to snuggle up like this with other males, homosexual or non.”

Well, golly gee willickers, Batman, looks like the cat’s out of the bag.

“Um…”

You lift up a little bit.

Not only did he catch on that you were awake this whole time, but he’s also caught on that you quite possibly don’t fit into the gay/straight binary set up by your culture.

“Karkat,” you utter, “…I don’t think I am heterosexual.”

Now he’s staring at you. Inquisitively. By Jove, you’re your own scientific breakthrough, aren’t ya? And Dr. Vantas has just hit the mother load.

“And I’m to believe that…anything not straight in your culture is…rare?”

You don’t know if you can answer ‘yes’ to that just yet. But you decide to give him a ‘straight’ answer none the less. It’s probably the only straight thing you’ll give him your entire relationship.

“I don’t know if I can say rare. I’d like to think we’re pretty common. It’s just not considered appropriate. So a lot of us kinda have to hide it. Ergo, on a societal level, there appears to be much less non-straight people than there are straight people.”

Karkat peers downward ever so slightly, his face intensely thoughtful.

“So it’s not that you’re rare…It’s that you’re…inappropriate.”

“Yeah.”

He ‘hmms’.

“I see.”

There’s this little awkward pause that occurs between you. He’s still staring down at the couch for a few moments more as if trying to unteach himself everything he’s already been conditioned…and try to look at things through your eyes. You’re almost exactly sure that’s what he’s doing. Because Karkat is very considerate like that. And try as he might to deny it, learning is something he just enjoys doing. Swapping cultural exchange is a secret passion of his. He’d make a great college professor at home.

“So anyways…” You lean back. 

You figure now that you’ve basically stated these are non-platonic signals you’ve been trying to send, that it’s about time you backed off. No more intimacy. No more snuggles. Possibly no more hugs for a while, either, even if they are done purely out of good ole’ brotherly affection.

It’s a very subtle pain, but it is there.

The feeling of change. Change for the…not-better.

The fact lingers betwixt the two of you that you might not be good friends anymore after this.

Karkat was always a good friend, of course, but he was more than that, too. There was something that went beyond friendship, yet remained platonic. It was the closest thing to moiraillalegience you’ve possibly ever experienced. And it wasn’t even something you labeled yourselves with. It was just something that happened. You didn’t slap a label on it. You just walked the walk and talked the talk. 

In your mind, it had little to do with platonic romance and more to do with banishing away any sort of deep, dark, fears and insecurities you both had acquired on your adventures both together and separate.

You’d put money down that it was from this deep level of camaraderie that your attraction to him was even born. Were it not for this intimacy, you would have never felt such resolve to bury your insecurity once and for all.

John was the ringer.

John was the one who helped you realize ‘it’ was even there.

But at that point, you were still trying to shove it into the dust with the heel of your sneaker.

Now?

Now you were trying to not only coax it back up, unearth it, but to also give it…happiness. 

You discovered that you were queer. And now you wanted to feed that part of yourself. Love that part of yourself. You wanted someone else to love it, too, right along with you. 

Who else better than Karkat?

Karkat already knew the ropes. He could show you what it was. What it entailed. What it felt like. You planned on him being the gateway into this new world. Your guide. The Virgil to your Dante. You already loved him, so why not? Why not run with it?

But now that you’ve started running with it, you’re also starting to slam hard on the breaks.

It’s only just now occurred to you that he might not be your ‘gateway’ at all, however which way you want to take that.

He might just leave you hangin’ here for all you know.

You’ve put yourself out there.

Who’s to say he won’t take the bait?

You realize you’ve been staring at him for a good five minutes before he finally speaks again.

Is he…smiling?

“Strider, am I to believe that you’ve discovered something ‘inappropriate’ about yourself and that I’m the cause of it?”

“Well, yeah, if you wanna get cocky about it or some shit. Jesus.”

It’s funny, cause’ his ancestor’s Jesus…

“I would. Believe me, I would. I would love to gloat about this, you have no idea.”

“Now, hold on, hold on just a sec. This isn’t the first time I’ve thought about this, so before you go off on a tangent, you’re not the Harbinger of Gay, here. I’ve known this about me for a while now, it’s only just recently…I don’t know. It’s something to do with this meteor, I think. I don’t know. I feel like I can come out of my shell a little bit. This ain’t fuckin’ Texas. I’m surrounded….by people who really could give less of a fuck. So little fucks they encourage it, sometimes, you know? At least, that’s what it feels like. It feels like sexuality isn’t even a thing that happens here. Like…if you love it and like it, you’d be hard pressed to NOT be encouraged to…ask whatever ‘it’ is…out.”

For a second there, you were pretty sure he was gonna say something. And it might have even been important. But now you have his complete attention.

“And it’s not just the meteor either,” you continue…eventually trailing off before speaking again. “I’m gonna be real with you. A lot of it’s you…”

You feel your throat dry up instantly. You feel moisture collecting in your eyes. Every single fiber of your being is telling you this is wrong, telling you to shut your fucking mouth and not say another goddamn word. All of this is wrong. You’re going to lose a friend over this. You’re going to lose your humanity over this. It hasn’t registered in your brain yet that you’re not on Earth. That you’re not in Texas. It hasn’t registered yet that expressing your feelings, let alone feelings this personal to another male is okay. 

But you keep going, because ‘word vomit’. Because if you stop now, you’ll be choking to death on your own suffering. And like hell if you’re going to waste another minute of your life doing that.

“Like, I like our relationship the way it is, but it’s not…common for me to be this…close…with anyone. It’s not common on Earth to do this at all. And here came all these feelings. They just hit me like a ton of bricks, I couldn’t stop them. Bam. There they are. So. I’m sorry…if they seem a little too red for comfort. And I’m sorry that I might not be able to grasp the concept of platonic love as a…romantic love…for a while. I’m so sorry. You’re probably gonna be offended, but I just can’t fucking help it. I don’t know what else to do. Every time you get close to me I feel everything but pale feelings for you and that’s just…the way it is, man. That’s just the way it is. I can’t help it. I’m sorry.”

You laugh lightly to yourself. Your fingers clutching at the hem of your shirt.

“I’m probably one of those people that gets attached to anyone who gives them even the slightest bit of affection.”

Rose doesn’t count. Rose is your sister. But, damnit, if you ain’t attached to her, too. Really fuckin’ attached. So you’re probably right. You probably cling like nobody’s business to affectionate people. Cause’ your thirsty for it.

But Karkat’s different.

Karkat’s bisexual. Karkat’s your friend. Karkat’s a peer in your age group. Karkat has a lot in common with you. Karkat’s unafraid of physical intimacy, even on a non-platonic level. Karkat has been with you through thick and thin. It’s with Karkat that you even transcend concepts of ‘friendship’ as you know them. How could you not be attracted to him? It’s the inside of him that has you so fucked up. He’s bore it all. And you’ve done the same in return. Just like you’re doing now. You just throw all manner of sarcasm and pretense on the ground…and say what’s on your mind. He’s forced you to do it. He’s reconditioned you. Everything you were taught when you were little…Karkat came and flipped upside down. Just like that.

It’s kinda like he’s the exact thing you’ve been waiting for ever since you found this shit out about yourself. You wanted someone to tell you it was okay. Well, you fuckin’ found him. And he swung the same way you did, imagine that!

Why wave this flag…if you weren’t going to get your feet wet?

“I’m not going to dispute you on that one,” he murmurs softly, lifting a clawed hand and placing it on your shoulder. He’s lowered his head a bit so he can meet you on your slumped over, defeatist…level. “But I’m not mad at you, Dave. I’m not offended in the least bit.”

His smile is soft. It’s because of it that you start to feel your insides swell up with relief. A lot of tension just flows out of your nostrils in an elongated, if not shaky, sigh.

“So you don’t hate me?”

“Fuck no. Because of that? Fuck no.”

“But I…But our friendship is compromised, Kar, I mean…These little cuddle sprees we’ve been doing? Can’t do em’ anymore. I don’t know if…we’ll even be able to do anything together for a while, if you’ll even want to see me. Or if I can even be around you without feeling like a sore loser cause’ I…didn’t get the boy…Dear God, I shoulda just kept my mouth shut—”

You can feel yourself starting to let go. You can’t help it, the water works are just gonna come, there’s no stopping them. Word vomit has been replaced by tear vomit. Rain falling from your eyes. 

Rain so hard, you have to take off your fucking glasses just to wipe your ‘sight orbs’ dry.

But you don’t get to far.

Because within seconds, Karkat’s fingers have grabbed your wrists, yanked them away from your face, and he’s kissed you. Rough and hard. It’s an angry kiss.

“I don’t fucking want that,” he growls, staring you in the face. “I like hanging out with you…damnit.”

“Well, then, what are you…What are your…feelings???” Questions? Comments? Please leave a note in the drop box…

“As far as aliens go, you’re cute I guess.”

He’s smirking at you now. Actually smirking. It’s a very snide smirk, but you’ll take it.

His eyes are mostly yellow and remind you of sharks.

“If I’m going to be just as straight with you as you’ve been with me…” Dear GOD these puns…”there’s not a day that goes by that I’m not attracted to you. You’re an attractive shit, Strider.”

You force the slightest of smiles, but it’s only tiny because you’re still apprehensive and unsure. 

“Thanks.”

“But I never…I never allowed it to go any further than that because I didn’t want to fuck up like I always do. And I have a feeling even now that I am the worst romantic conquest in the history of paradox space. Somewhere down the line…I will manage to wreck the whole thing. It’s just…my destiny. I just figured that I’d hang tight for a while. Not pursue anything. At all. No matter the quadrant. That way I saved my partners and myself a load of trouble.”

At this, you hang your head down just a little bit. You mutter a low, “Yeah,” just to show you’re listening. But you begin to wonder…even if the two of you did take it a step further…if it would even work out.

You get jealous a little too easily.

And the thought of Karkat putting the moves on someone else other than you is rather disheartening. Even if it is culturally appropriate by his standards. Polyamory is just something you’re going to have to work on. You wish you could be more like Rose…and just sort of take everything at face value. She handles all of this so beautifully. With the grace of a ballerina. Meanwhile, you’re up in here floppin’ around like a fish.

“However…” Karkat continues, “I did also imagine…if we ever did do something…that it was going to be different. Because our relationship is different anyway.”

You peer up.

“You think so?”

“Yeah. I mean…we’re not in any sort of quadrant. These are things you have to communicate about. But yet we exhibit behaviors…as if we were in all of them. The only thing that’s missing, to me, is the romantic part.”

You feel like you’re teetering on the precipice of freedom. And this could go two ways. You could be pushed into a chasm, yet off the hook. Or leap off the edge itself, yet with…a lover in tow. And the suspense is killing you.

You wish he’d just say something, anything, to give you some sort of revelation. You wish he’d just hurry up and out with it straight to your face.

“What kind of…’thing’…do you see us doing?” You ask tentatively.

“That I can’t say.” Karkat seems to make himself comfortable being that the conversation’s getting pretty heavy, complicated, and long at this point. “I can watch these movies all day and then some and still…feel that I’d screw up somewhere. At some point. No matter how educated I was.”

He sighs. God, he’s so defeated. He gives up before he even starts, what an asshole.

“But…if you didn’t mind walking me through it….do you think I could…that we could be….”

Perish the thought.

“Boyfriends?” You pique.

“Yes,” he smiles. “Boyfriends.”

Now, looky here at this butt load of wisdom and courage you’ve just gotten.

“Karkat…” You smile and lean up to him, giving the side of his face a gentle touch. “If we’re going to be boyfriends, we’re in this for the long haul, you know. No half-assin’ it. This is serious business.”

“I know,” he nods.

“So, then, you’re aware that you can’t walk into this thing afraid it’s gonna fail from the get-go?”

He shakes his head. 

“I’m not afraid.”

“Why not?“ You ask. “A moment ago, you just said you were too apprehensive about this whole thing.”

“It’s really easy. Look at us. We’re both so fucked up. We’re perfect for each other! Quadrants…are you even willing to experiment with them?”

“I mean…I don’t know, Kar, maybe?”

“Maybe’s not good enough, this shit has to be for real. And we both know I…am shit…when it comes to quadrants. You know it. I know it. They know it. Let’s be real. I am the least successful troll on his meteor…”

“You’ve had quadrants—”

“But they FAILED! They just…I don’t have the patience for it anymore, Dave, I need something stable that I know will work out. And if you’d just hear me out a second and stop blabbering your goddamn mouth, maybe I could get in a word edge wise!”

You are flabbergasted. Your face a stupidity-stained platter of watery filth.

“So, hear me out…” he continues. “We become boyfriends. We do all the quadrants.”

“All of them?”

“All of them.”

“Just…us?”

“Just us.”

“At the same time?”

“At the same time. We can do this, Dave. You know it and I know it. What has love gotten us before? A big pile of crap, that’s what. That’s why…we need to team up. Me and you.”

His grin is wild and you do everything you can to take him seriously right now.

“I love your sales pitch, you scheming cad.”

“It’s brilliant, right?”

“So basically…we just do the boyfriend thing. You’re up for that? And I…I can teach you, if you want.”

“Yes, you may have to. But I have a feeling I might actually be a natural at it. A slip up or two here and there, perhaps. But for the most part…a natural.”

You can’t belieeeveee it. Karkat’s actually on board with this thing, holy shit! Oh, God. Oh, God. Now you’re getting antsy. Okay, no. No. No, no, no, no, no. No getting antsy. No getting…anything. You’re gonna be dating a goddamn troll. An alien. A creature from a different planet with totally different concepts of romance and sexuality than you. You’re not even in the thing yet, and you’re already neck deep in complications. But this is what relationships are, right? They’re partnerships. They’re work. And you gotta see this fucker through, especially if it ends up being something really good. Holy hell, if it actually ends up good, there’s no way you’re NOT going to work your ass off for it!

Christ, what else are you going to do? Who else are you going to turn to?

This is fucking Karkat Vantas!

Karkat fucking Vantas…has joined your party! What are you going to do next? What are you fucking gonna do—

“So…” the troll murmurs. “Do we have…an agreement?”

It’s not the most romantic thing you’ve ever heard, but did you forget this is Karkat fucking Vantas?

You smile at him for the longest time before leaning down and kissing the bottom half of his cheek.

“We have an agreement.”


End file.
